I have been called to preach at over a hundred funerals in my pastoral career. As a minister I have witnessed a growing trend in funerals and that is the increase in eulogies by friends and family of the deceased. I have visited with those who have been asked to carry out this responsibility and one thing is clear...most of them want to know how to start a eulogy and deliver a healing and inspiring speech.
Let me give you some of my personal observations and some possible ideas in starting and delivering your funeral talk. First, remember that the most memorable eulogies are brief. If you are the only person delivering a remembrance then try to keep your presentation somewhere between 5 to 7 minutes. If there are other people sharing during this portion of the service keep your thoughts to around 3 to 5 minutes. Nothing kills the mood or spirit of a funeral service like a long winded eulogy. Remember that the minister and the music are still on the order of service and if you go too long it will cause attendees to become restless during the rest of the service.
People have short attention spans and they will begin to tune you out once you start to extend past your allotted time. Second, begin your speech with a famous quote that can be used to point out a great character trait of the departed or start with a fond memory of your friend. Try to use the quote or the memory to tell a short story about one of the departed's most striking character traits. Just focus on one great aspect of your loved one. I know that this idea may go against your commonly held ideas but the eulogy is not a time to recount all the events and traits of the deceased. This is not an episode of Biography, make it brief and memorable. If your friend was known for his/her loyalty then go to Google and find some great quote sites (there are tons of them) and do a search for a quote about loyalty. You will be astounded at the number of inspiring quotes on nearly any character trait and you can use that quote to sag way into an example of your friend's loyalty, love, kindness, humor or whatever you want to call attention to about their life. You need to keep in mind that most of the people in attendance at the funeral have their own memories of the deceased and you don't need to introduce them to the departed you just need to remind them of one great quality of your friend. Remember, if you share too much information during your funeral speech you may "steal" some material from the minister. Finally, just be sincere. If you speak from the heart people will resonate with what you are saying. Most people have a pretty good radar system and can tell when a eulogy is not earnest and sincere. Don't be afraid to cry or to laugh if such a display of emotion will help reinforce the trait you are trying to emphasize. Have some thorough notes or if you feel more comfortable with a manuscript you can read your speech. The eulogy is not about you it is about he one being honored and remembered.
God's blessings on your assignment!
Let me give you some of my personal observations and some possible ideas in starting and delivering your funeral talk. First, remember that the most memorable eulogies are brief. If you are the only person delivering a remembrance then try to keep your presentation somewhere between 5 to 7 minutes. If there are other people sharing during this portion of the service keep your thoughts to around 3 to 5 minutes. Nothing kills the mood or spirit of a funeral service like a long winded eulogy. Remember that the minister and the music are still on the order of service and if you go too long it will cause attendees to become restless during the rest of the service.
People have short attention spans and they will begin to tune you out once you start to extend past your allotted time. Second, begin your speech with a famous quote that can be used to point out a great character trait of the departed or start with a fond memory of your friend. Try to use the quote or the memory to tell a short story about one of the departed's most striking character traits. Just focus on one great aspect of your loved one. I know that this idea may go against your commonly held ideas but the eulogy is not a time to recount all the events and traits of the deceased. This is not an episode of Biography, make it brief and memorable. If your friend was known for his/her loyalty then go to Google and find some great quote sites (there are tons of them) and do a search for a quote about loyalty. You will be astounded at the number of inspiring quotes on nearly any character trait and you can use that quote to sag way into an example of your friend's loyalty, love, kindness, humor or whatever you want to call attention to about their life. You need to keep in mind that most of the people in attendance at the funeral have their own memories of the deceased and you don't need to introduce them to the departed you just need to remind them of one great quality of your friend. Remember, if you share too much information during your funeral speech you may "steal" some material from the minister. Finally, just be sincere. If you speak from the heart people will resonate with what you are saying. Most people have a pretty good radar system and can tell when a eulogy is not earnest and sincere. Don't be afraid to cry or to laugh if such a display of emotion will help reinforce the trait you are trying to emphasize. Have some thorough notes or if you feel more comfortable with a manuscript you can read your speech. The eulogy is not about you it is about he one being honored and remembered.
God's blessings on your assignment!
